I was in a place many years ago where I thought my belief was in crisis. But in reality, looking back, I was over my honey moon period with the Lord. I remember asking God, how can I believe and faith, where has it gone? And I remember being prompted to act in obedience rather than how I FEEL about Him. I thought, I could do that whole obedience thing, I will give it a shot and see what happens.
Well, it was only THEN that I understood how faith worked. After all, we are told to WALK with God, walking is an action, right? We can’t just sit and do nothing with our faith. He worked on me for a good three years solid to bring me to this understanding. It wasn’t easy. And it was then that I learnt that emotions and feeling are fleeting things; but obedience is a life long journey, and His promises are exactly that HIS promises, regardless of how we FEEL. His Word does not return to Him void. AND His word is very important to Him. He holds His word higher than His name! WOW!
I will worship toward your holy temple, and praise your name for your loving kindness and for your truth: for you have magnified your word above all your name. Psalm 138:2
If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:12-13
The above was pivotal to me. We have to endure, not deny and if we are faithless, then he remains faithful to His word. “For He cannot (it is an impossibility that He should) deny Himself.” He cannot be unfaithful to His word that He will deny those who deny Him, though we be not faithful to our profession of faith in Him.
I wanted to be a faithful servant, or slave (doulos). And I still do. I backslide, as we all do. But I try to pick up my cross daily and run the good race. I have always known that I am in the race and have always felt that the cross has never been too far from me.
The path I am on has many spectators on the side, and some of these spectators want to divert my attention from the end of the path. Think “Pilgrims Progress”. But at least I am learning to recognise them for what they are.
I am really just a work in progress, after all… He is the Potter and I am the clay. And it is He who will finish the good work in me. Yet, I have to let him mould me into a working vessel.