The Emergent Elijah – A Parody

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I found this the other day… and I really wanted to share it. I think that this parody on Elijah is worth a read.

The Emergent Elijah
By Dave Green

Elijah said to Ahab, “You have forsaken the commandments of the Lord, and you have followed Baal. Although I don’t agree with that decision, I can’t condemn it. After all, no one has all the truth. I understand that Israel has some truth and so does the religion of Baal. We’re all seekers of ultimate truth. Therefore, let us unite with the prophets of Baal. Now then send and gather to me all Israel at Mount Carmel, together with 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of the Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table. And let us all have a conversation” (I Kings 18:18,19).

So Ahab sent a message among all the sons of Israel, and brought the prophets together at Mount Carmel. And Elijah came near to all the people and said, “How long will we hesitate between two opinions? Forever, I say! The Lord might be God, or Baal might be God. We all have our own personal opinion as to who God is, but let’s face it: We might be wrong. So let us be open to Baal. Remember, Judge not lest ye be judged!” But the people did not answer him a word (I Kings 18:20,21).

Then Elijah said to the people, “I alone am left a prophet of the Lord, but Baal’s prophets are 450 men. I’m not saying this proves that Baal is the true God, but it is a powerful argument for Baal, wouldn’t you agree? So let’s be open to what the prophets of Baal have to teach us.” (I Kings 18:22).

“Now I know that some of you have proposed that we put Baal to the test and see if either Baal or Yahweh will give us a sign from heaven. But this is wrong. Even if fire came down from heaven, that wouldn’t prove anything. If we thought that fire proved that Yahweh was the true God, we would be arrogant. Our certainty would be based on evidence that could easily be explained by natural phenomenon. So instead of having the arrogance of certainty, let us instead have a humble conversation and unite in the unity of love with the prophets of Baal.” And all the people answered Elijah and said, “That is a good idea” (I Kings 18:23,24).

So Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “We respect your beliefs, prophets of Baal. We Israelites do not have absolute certainty about the God of Israel. In truth, we might be wrong. We’re only relatively certain that we’re onto something when we worship Yahweh. Therefore we don’t judge you when you call out to Baal or when you cut yourselves with swords and lances until blood gushes out. Additionally, we don’t believe that Yahweh is at war with Baal. God has not called his followers to gain victory or to triumph over his enemies. Yahweh does not want us to conquer the hearts of men through evangelism. “Conquest” is a trait of evil, white, European, male Christianity. We’re above and beyond such mean-spirited hurtfulness” (I Kings 18:25-29).

Then Elijah said to all the people, “Come near to me.” So all the people came near to him. And he repaired the altar of the Lord, which had been torn down. And Elijah took the same number stones as there are world religions, and he said, “To the prophets of Baal and to all sincere worshipers of deities, we unite with you in true love and unity. The lion is lying down with the lamb. Amen?” (I Kings 18:30-39).

Then Elijah said to the people, “Shake hands with the prophets of Baal. Hug them as your spiritual brothers”. So they hugged them; and Elijah brought them down to the brook Kishon, and made them members of his church. (I Kings 18:40).

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10 thoughts on “The Emergent Elijah – A Parody

  1. Pingback: Emergent Elijah at Addison Road

  2. The irony is that Baal worship was the orthodoxy at the time. It was the norm. It was official. It was accepted. Elijah was the odd man out. Most everyone at the time was making fun of Elijah the way you make fun of those who today question whether today’s orthodoxy really has everything figured out once for all.

    I’ve had several bad experiences with Christian leaders who talk the talk but don’t walk it. That is, they can’t light the fire on the alter. They aren’t believable. For my experience, David Green has it backwards. It’s modern Christianity that can’t light the fire. New voices are saying that something is terribly wrong but the majority just tear their garments and slash themselves (and each other).

    Prophets are unwelcome in their home town, today as in Elijah’s day.

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  3. I realize that Dave Green is a preterist and I have to say that I am not a preterist by any means. I believe that Christ will come back with the church his bride and reign for a thousand years and that will be the kingdom of God in its total fruition. I do not believe that any man-made kingdom that is built before Christs reign is going to be good in anyway…The last 2000 years is proof of that, if Satan is locked up, who keeps letting him out!!

    A cursory read of the book of Daniel concerning the statue and its demise points to what will happen before Christ comes again. The statue represent mans kingdoms throughout history, past, present and future, it says that God shall set up His kingdom in Heaven it shall stand forever, so it is an eternal kingdom. The stone cut without hands is symbolic of Christ being the corner stone (Mark 12-10) – as he was not made in any way, but was with God and was God and everything was made through Him (John 1:1-3) – That is what will destroy mans poor attempt for building worldly kingdoms. Mans efforts have always fallen short and always will. Remember the tower of Babel, but we have teachers saying that that was a good thing and it’s amazing what man can do when we all pull in our resources and have one voice and have one goal which is to create or shall I say re-create a new paradigm. But these teachers fail to hear the shepherds voice, who says that His kingdom is not of this world (John 18-36), and that we are hated because we don’t belong in this world (John 17-14).

    Dan 2:40 And the fourth kingdom shall be as strong as iron. Inasmuch as iron crushes and smashes all things, and as the iron that shatters all these, it will crush and shatter.
    Dan 2:41 And as to that you saw, the feet and the toes were partly of potters’ clay and partly of iron, the kingdom shall be divided. But there shall be in it the strength of iron, because you saw the iron mixed with clay of the potter.
    Dan 2:42 And as the toes of the feet were partly of iron and partly of clay, so the kingdom shall be partly strong and partly fragile.
    Dan 2:43 And as you saw the iron mixed with the clay of the clay, they shall be mixed with the seed of men. But they shall not adhere to one another, even as iron does not mix with clay.
    Dan 2:44 And in the days of these kings, the God of Heaven shall set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed. And the kingdom shall not be left to other people. It shall break in pieces and destroy all these kingdoms, and it shall stand forever.
    Dan 2:45 Because you saw that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it broke the iron, the bronze, the clay, the silver, and the gold in pieces. The great God has made known to the king what shall occur after this. And the dream is certain, and the meaning of it is trustworthy.

    I do not believe that all of the things that Jesus spoke about in the book of Matthew have been fulfilled. I wait for a better kingdom than what is promised by any man made program. Be it Rick Warrens PEACE plan, the WCC and the Vaticans spin on whether or not you are allowed to convert people despite that being part of spreading the gospel (Matthew 18-3), or the United Nations Social Agenda for the World.

    I say Marantha!!!

    V

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  4. Bill,

    re: “Most everyone at the time was making fun of Elijah the way you make fun of those who today question whether today’s orthodoxy really has everything figured out once for all.”
    Wasn’t it Elijah who mocked the pagans(2 Kings 18:27)who then fell on their faces(v. 30)?

    You say Christians and modern Christianity can’t light the fire, and you are right! It was not a man who lit the fire in front of the Baal worshippers. Elijah even drenched it with water first. “Then the fire of the Lord fell”, and consumed the offering, water and all. Only God can light the fire but we must call on Him first. I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with Christian leaders…shame on them! But we can’t put our faith in fallible people. If you’ve been dissappointed because they haven’t displayed the power and love of God, then perhaps you’ve been looking at imperfect vessels instead of the One who made them.

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  5. Carla I think you mean 1 kings 18:27-30,39. It does indeed say that Elijah mocked them and it was the baal worshippers who cried aloud and cut themsleves!

    I will put the passage up for clarification.

    1Ki 18:27 And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud; for he is a god: either he is musing, or he is gone aside, or he is on a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth and must be awaked.
    1Ki 18:28 And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lances, till the blood gushed out upon them.
    1Ki 18:29 And it was so, when midday was past, that they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening oblation; but there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regarded.
    1Ki 18:30 And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me; and all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of Jehovah that was thrown down.
    1Ki 18:39 And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, Jehovah, he is God; Jehovah, he is God.

    Absolutey Shame on bad leaders… Ezekial (Ezekial 34 :2-5) prophesied about the shepherds who have not fed the sheep but have instead fed themselves. I see that happening today, don’t you. There are so many leaders who are feeding the flock nothing but empty husks to starving sheep. People who have been starved will eat anything! These leader will recieve the heavier judgment!

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  6. Q: Was there a point to this exercise? Mr.Green has just been added to my “doesn’t get it–probably never will” list.

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