Living Journey

I have been doing a lot of reading the last few days, and I have been reading some of the Christian sites and the many, many comments that have really become quite distasteful, and at times filled with vitriolic words of which I would rather not talk about or give any links to. Nonetheless, I have come away being quite challenged to delve more into the Word and into His Truth all the same.

I have come away wanting to become more Holy and more Christ-like, knowing all the more that this is an impossibility because the more I know Him, the more I understand my sin is what separates me from Him, Marantha …I now say.

Then I am brought to my knees in shame to that old rugged cross to see what I have done to someone who loves me despite of my wretchedness. I ask myself, who am I that I have deserved this grace? Truth is, I do not deserve it, and no matter what I do in this life I could never deserve this grace that washes me clean. Who am I, but I am nothing.

Anyway, the one thing I have managed to do so far this year is to keep reading my bible in a year program, I have been enjoying it, even though at times I struggle with it. I just want to know His Word and hear His voice amongst the screaming matches that are so prevalent today. God does promise that it is those who are His sheep that will recognise His voice. I want to hear it, so I must get my head into His Word to know what He has to say to me. I don’t want to lend my ear to something that is not of God. Let His Word be my measuring tool to know the difference.

Like I have said, I have been to these blogs and at times very colourful language is used by pastors because they want to reach the unsaved and be relative in todays culture.

Though I am not sure how relative a church can be - the church being the body of Christ - when the church has been called to be separate from the world and has been told that the world will hate her because the world hated Jesus first.  The Church can be salt but it seems that she is losing her saltiness these days.

Anyway, I am not going to shout or debate or argue about it today.

I just wanted to share this prayer with you, which to be honest, this prayer is actually for me, and is not pointed to anyone else. It is between me and my God, and I know I need to pray it, I pray that I am really changed by it and that it changes my heart and addresses my sin in my life:

Lord Jesus, I sin. Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it, never be content with myself, never think I can reach a point of perfection. Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self. Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable, to live for Thee and not for self, to copy Thy words, acts, spirit, to be transformed into Thy likeness, to be consecrated wholly to Thee, to live entirely to Thy glory.

Deliver me from attachment to things unclean, from wrong associations, from the predominance of evil passions, from the sugar of sin as well as its gap; that with self-loathing, deep contrition, earnest heart searching I may come to Thee, cast myself on Thee, trust in Thee, cry to Thee, be delivered by Thee.

O God, the Eternal All, help me to know that all things are shadows, but Thou art substance, all things are quicksands, but Thou art mountain, all things are shifting, but Thou art anchor, all things are ignorance, but Thou art wisdom.

If my life is to be a crucible amid burning heat, so be it, but do Thou sit at the furnace mouth to watch the ore that nothing be lost. If I sin wilfully, grievously, tormentedly, in grace take away my mourning and give me music; remove my sackcloth and clothe me with beauty; still my sighs and fill my mouth with song, then give me summer weather as a Christian.